Friday, January 2, 2009

Coffee, Rum, and Cigars. O RLY?

Despite initial hopes, it does not appear that Peets Coffee has a Bluefields location just yet. There’s no Starbucks lurking around the corner either. The most costly drink we’ve found so far (we’ve been looking) still doesn’t quite cover some of those high-end venti-sized sugar bombs back home. But, no worries, because Nicaragua is known for its great coffee!

Like the Easter Bunny and Nica pizza, prepare to have your heart broken.

But, don’t worry, because even if your morning cup of coffee (which you look forward to more than any other recurring aspect of your day) has been relegated to the magical mystical Folgers-variety land of freeze-dried and instant, Nicaragua is known for its great rum! While the low-end varieties are better hidden in blended drinks or with enormous amounts of citrus (no scurvy here), it’s the aged rums that really shine through as something special, as sippers, as something to erase your coffee frown.

Like Diet Coke and change for 500 cords, only at the casinos.

But, no problem, nothing to worry about, because Nicaragua is known for its great cigars! And, man, a dark-wrappered, well-humidified robusto would go perfectly with warm sun and your scurvy-prevention medication. With the absence of Cuban products, cigars from the Dominican Republic and Nicaragua are readily available and take center stage back in the U.S. So, presumably, all one has to do is walk down to your nearest pulperia and have your little mind blown by the vast selection of hand-rolled delights!

Seriously? Opened half-packs of Belmont cigarettes?

Yes, indeed, this is a magical place where you can fantasize to your heart's content about Nicaraguan coffee, rum, and cigars, endlessly, the sky’s the limit here, so long as you don’t lose sight of the fact that, like Columbia, everything good here gets exported. At least there’s plenty of marinated tofu, fresh green vegetables, and craft beer to help you forget.

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